The Paradigm of I'm too Fat!

Negative body image and the belief “I’m too fat” can significantly impact mental health, confidence, and overall well-being. This article examines the subconscious patterns behind body shame and offers a more compassionate, holistic approach to healing through mindset shifts, nervous system awareness, and self-acceptance.

So… this happened.

I was talking with a fellow personal trainer who had just taken one of my yoga classes. He felt relaxed, open, and we have a really good connection.

As he was heading out, we started talking about business—how we could work together, ways to grow.

And then… something surfaced.

He said,

“I just need to get ripped… then I’ll be able to get clients.”

And I was on that one immediately.

I asked him,

“Why do you feel like you need to get ripped before you can train people?”

And without hesitation, he said,

“Because I need to practice what I preach and live what I teach.”

So I looked at him and said,

“Look at me—I’m not ripped.”

And he paused… then said,

“No… but you’re calm.”

That moment said everything.

Because underneath what he was saying…

was something so many people believe:

“I need to be better… before I’m enough.”

And in the fitness world, that belief often sounds like:

“I need to be thinner.”

“I need to be more defined.”

“I need to look a certain way… before I’m worthy.”

Not because it’s true.

But because it’s been taught.

And I want to gently say this:

That belief… is a paradigm.

A learned way of thinking.

A lens we’ve been given… and then repeated so many times,

it starts to feel like truth.

But feeling true…

and being true…

are not always the same thing.

Because here’s what I see, over and over again:

People stand in front of the mirror and think,

“I’m too fat.”

And that thought doesn’t just stay a thought.

It becomes:

Sadness.

Shame.

Disconnection.

And then it repeats.

Again.

And again.

And again.

But what if that thought…

Was it never true to begin with?

What if it was something you were taught to believe?

Because there is no such thing as being “too fat” to be worthy.

You are not behind.

You are not less than.

You are not disqualified from living fully

because of your body.

You are in a body that has carried you.

A body that has adapted.

A body that has stayed with you through everything.

And that deserves respect.

That deserves compassion.

Not punishment.

Not shame.

Compassion.

And I understand…

Shifting this way of thinking isn’t always easy.

Because these beliefs have been repeated for years.

Sometimes decades.

So instead of trying to force a new belief…

We begin more gently.

You might try something like this:

“Up until now, I believed I was less than because of my body…

but now, I’m beginning to see how much this body has done for me.”

Not perfection.

Not pressure.

Just a small opening.

Because healing these beliefs isn’t about flipping a switch.

It’s about creating space.

Space to question what you’ve been taught.

Space to feel something different.

Space to begin seeing yourself with more kindness.

And I want you to hear this clearly:

There is no shame in having believed something that wasn’t true.

We all do it.

Good people believe things that hurt them.

Not because they’re broken.

But because they were taught.

And once you begin to see it…

You get to choose something different.

You don’t have to wait until your body changes

to feel better about yourself.

You don’t have to earn your worth.

You can begin now.

Gently.

With compassion.

If you’re finding yourself stuck in these patterns,

You don’t have to navigate them alone.

This is the work I guide people through—helping you reconnect with your body, shift the beliefs that keep you stuck, and begin feeling safe in who you already are.

You’re not too late.

You’re not too far gone.

You’re right where you need to be

to begin seeing yourself differently.

For many, the desire to change the body is actually the beginning of a much deeper healing journey.

If something in this spoke to you, there are a variety of ways to explore this work — from group experiences to more personalized support. You’re always welcome to begin in a way that feels right for you. Offerings & Events